In the latest installment of The Register's satirical BOFH column, the basement computer that runs the building's wastewater sump system dies. The BOFH and PFY know that the two ISA cards, marked only "#1" and "#2," would make any replacement machine a nightmare, so they pass the problem up the management chain. The Boss escalates it to the Director, HR, the CEO, and finally the Board, who bring in two veteran troubleshooters, Frank and Brian.
Frank and Brian quickly determine that the PC is unnecessary. The sump uses a standard float switch arrangement with variable-speed macerating pumps, and a bog-standard pump controller with VFDs can handle everything, including wireless high/low alarms and pump-failure signals. They plan to pull the small sub-board and install a new board with VFDs. The Boss balks at the cost and demands paperwork, but Frank and Brian lock him in the sump room with the doorhandles removed, reasoning that the coming overflow will motivate him to finish the JSA, insurance liability forms, and safety waiver.
The BOFH and PFY help by heading to the 6th floor to flush toilets, accelerating the paperwork's completion. The episode is pure satire, but it highlights a familiar theme: legacy hardware failures often require not just new parts, but a willingness to bypass bureaucratic inertia with a bit of creative pressure.