The Register's long-running BOFH satire imagines management asking IT support to adopt a more holistic approach: listen to the user, consider how a problem affects them, and tailor a unique solution rather than fixing it head-on. The staff begrudgingly obliges, turning a simple virus removal into a ceremony of pseudo-wellness.
Applying homeopathy to software, the BOFH proposes diluting virus code repeatedly into random bytes, then placing the laptop inside a pyramid of amethyst rods aligned with cosmic ley lines. The user is also told that the desk and rubbish bin are misplaced, and that old paperwork is blocking their third eye. The plan goes predictably wrong: an attempt to open a chakra with incense sets a bookshelf on fire, the desk blocks the doorway, and the user escapes through a window.
After the chaos, the PFY applies 'color therapy' by changing the desktop background to purple, then runs the antivirus software that would have solved the problem from the start. The satire's point is not that empathy has no place in IT support, but that a vague, mystical framing cannot replace straightforward technical competence.